Lets see I currenttly just feel like ranting about how much I wish life would stop. Nobodody has to read this (nobody ever does anyway).

Well lets see, I'm starting to think that there is no point to my exsitance besides helping others, attempting to make them happy, and yeah.

In the past couple months I've felt like my heart is barley beating, I just feel so cold and alone. July, 15th marked a year since the "break up", oh so dramatic, lol not really. It hurts like hell but I'll live, I just miss being his Candi-chan is all, and he seems so distant lately, I feel like I'm going to lose one of my best friends, but thats old news, and yes I truly do love him (the chance is slim, but I still think we will be togeter in the end). A majorproblem to me, judge me all you want but I'll nevergive up on him, never stop loving him.

In more recent news, about a week ago I lost a family member, only good news she is with my NoNo again, their happyily togeter. I miss her though, and I wasen't there to say goodbye, she was over a 1000mi. away, my family really didn't even want to tell us.

Oh my freind Squeeky, is once again on a sucide kick, fun huh. He's honestly like my little brother, I wuv him and he claims he should just push us all away, that will be for the best. This way he can't hurt us anymore, he's such an idiot, and no flippen adult will listen when I tell them his situation.Adults can be such idiots.

Oh and "wonderful" news, my house got sold, yeah we have 30 to 90 days to leave and find somewhere else, only because my landlord is an ass and had been taking my mom's money but not paying the house. And I don't know if she can do it or not, get us a new house that is. What a wonderful life I have.

Then of course there is just school, and me not wanting to really talk about whats wrong I don't want to be a burden). And everybody has become a couple, so I get to be around them alot, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for all of hem, just sad because what Jared and I once had was specal, and who knows if that will ever be again. I feel so alone!

Well that was th best rant I could muster, it sort of helped accutually. Well thats all....